Answer:  This is a huge topic for a column like this, but I'll do the best I can in a few sentences.  Before I do, though, above all I would talk with your pastor or spiritual counselor about your feelings and let them help you work through your doubt.  With that said, however, I'll add this as food for thought.  First of all, God never leaves us.  He is always there for us to talk to and to comfort us if we open our hearts and minds to Him in prayer and meditation.  I don't believe that the loving God we serve causes cancer.  In fact, he can cure it if that is the right course to take, just like he can part the oceans or raise people from the dead.  The problem is that we see such a tiny part of the big picture that He sees when He looks a problem.  We don't know what the future holds for any of us.  It is possible that the disease that causes a person's death may be far more humane than what lies in store further down the road.  We need to accept His decision no matter how painful that might be at the time.  That is possible only through faith.  We must rely on our faith and know that whatever happens is for the best.  We need to ask God to give us the courage to accept whatever life has in store for us.  And don't forget, miracles are always possible.  I have a member of our family who was sent home on Hospice with no hope of recovery after exploratory surgery indicated that there was nothing doctors could do.  That was over forty years ago and he is still going strong.  So don't give up on that miracle, either!  The best advice is to expect the best and prepare for the worst.  Most of all, turn it all over to God and then let it go.  May the Holy Spirit come upon you and your spouse and the rest of your family during your time of trial.

 

 

Answer:  My motto is, "Love it, live it YOU BECOME IT, whatever "it" is!"  Whether you are 16 or 106 years old, if you don't like the direction your life is heading, YOU CAN CHANGE IT!  The first thing you need to do is to take a look at what you don't like about your life.  Is it your income?  Your group of friends? Your job?  Whatever it is, there is something you can do about it.  Sometimes the key to a better job doesn't require years and years of education.  It might be a few classes at the local community college, or a vocational school.   The main thing is, START TODAY.  And don't forget to PRAY for guidance from the one who really knows what is best for us.  Good luck!   

 

Answer:  This is a time when getting on the computer is a good thing.  There are many sites that have help available for students young and old, to help with homework, some are free some are not.  Here are a few of the free ones:  http://www.freemathhelp.com, http://school.discoveryeducation.com/homeworkhelp/bjpinchbeck/, http://carnegielibrary.org/subject/homework/, http://www.ipl.org/div/kidspace/, http://www.kidinfo.com/schoolsubjects.html, http://www.multcolib.org/homework/index.html, http://www.askanexpert.com/, http://www.potamusplace.net/homework.shtml.  If you don't have a computer, students can go to most public libraries which have computers and access to the internet, have an older son or daughter help them, ask one of your friends who may have a job that involves math, for example, and see if they can help, or contact the school about school-sponsored tutoring programs.  Sometimes it is possible to hire an older student to tutor younger children.  This is another option.

 

Answer:   Visit her as much as possible and encouraging her to work hard at her rehabilitation.  The doctors and therapists know what they are doing.  She needs to do her best to do what they tell her, even if it is painful sometimes.  Physical therapy can be painful, but it is an extremely important part of rehabilitation and without it, recovery will be slow and a person can even regress.  Next, reassure her that she is never alone.  Even when you aren't there, Jesus is always by her side.  Put a small picture of Jesus where she can see it easily as a reminder.  She will never be alone as long as she holds Jesus in her heart.   All she has to do is open her heart and let Him in.  He will lift her up even in her darkest hour and will see her through all the difficult rehabilitation she faces. 

 

Answer:  Be sure to check with the school to see what supplies he or she will need for school.  Some schools print a list that parents can use to shop for the supplies their child's particular grade will use.  If you can't afford the supplies, many food banks, the Salvation Army and other cheritable organizations have school supplies available for people who can't afford them.  Communicate with the school regularly, particularly with the teachers so that they will know you are interested in your child's progress.  If you can, volunteer to help in the classroom once or twice during the week.  It will give you a chance to see how things are going in the classroom, to see your child in action and it will help the teacher too.  At the very least, attend all parent/teacher conferences.  I am always amazed at how many parents fail to utilize this valuable tool to monitor their child's progress.  Most of all, be sure that your child is getting enough sleep (six to eight hours minimum), that they have a nutritious breakfast before leaving for school.  A boiled egg, toast and orange juice makes a good one.  Or a low-sugar cereal with some blueberries sprinkled on top with a glass of orange juice is also a good breakfast.  Minimize snacks and foods high in sugar or caffein.  It makes students "hyper" and it is that much harder for them to concentrate and remain quiet in class.  Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities.  It has been proven by studies that students who particpate in activities like music, various clubs and/or athletics have better grades than students who don't.  Be supportive and encourage your child to always do their best.  If any deficiencies are noted work closely with school staff and your child to get them corrected, the sooner the better.  The longer you wait the bigger the problem.

 

Answer:  According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, the symptoms of alcohol dependence include:

Most adults can drink moderate amounts of alcohol -- up to two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women and older people -- and avoid alcohol-related problems. (One drink equals one 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler, one 5-ounce glass of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.)

However, certain people should not drink at all. They include women who are pregnant or trying to become pregnant; people who plan to drive or engage in other activities requiring alertness and skill; people taking certain medications, including certain over-the-counter medicines; people with medical conditions that can be worsened by drinking; recovering alcoholics; and people under the age of 21.

 

If your spouse is drinking more than two drinks per day consistently he most likely has an alcohol problem.  (And remember, a person doesn't have to drink every day to have a drinking problem!).  If he can't stop with one drink, he may have a problem.  If he takes off work to drink rather than spend time with the family, he probably has a drinking problem.  The real difficulty is that he may not realize that he has a problem.  Frequently, alcoholics had parents who drank too much and they don't always see excessive drinking as anything but normal.  I strongly suggest you contact an Al-Anon chapter near you.  They can provide you with information and suggestions on how you might handle the problem with your spouse.  Even if your spouse refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem Al-Anon can help YOU more effectively deal with your husband's problem.  If your husband becomes physically abusive while he is drinking, CALL THE POLICE.  His drinking is not only jeopardizing your mental health, it is also having an extremely negative affect on your children.

 

Answer:  You are at a very critical juncture of your marriage.  You need to slow your lives down and arrange time, RELAXED TIME, together.  If necessary get away from your home town and leave the cell phones behind.  Get a hotel/motel on a beach or in the mountains and RELAX TOGETHER!  Even when you're not on vacation arrange a "date night" for the two of you to spend quality time together.  Once again, LEAVE THE CELL PHONES HOME.  Go to the gym together several days a week after work and get a good workout or better yet take a yoga class together or just go for a walk or a bike ride.  This will go a long way to relieving stress that is most likely the cause of the distress in your marriage.  Too often we come home from work all stressed out and on the verge of "blowing up" already before our spouse starts talking about the bills that are due or the problems the kids had in school and before you know it, BOOM!  An arguement ensues.  If things get bad enough you may need to consider job changes to less stressful jobs.  If de-stressing and getting some time away doesn't help the situation, or if alcohol and/or drugs are involved, or if the arguing goes to the next step and the relationship becomes abusive TALK TO YOUR PASTOR AND GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP SOONER THAN LATER.  If you can't get our spouse to go, go by yourself initially and then work on getting him or her to go with you. 

 

Answer:  Parents are very busy people these days.  As gas prices, health care and other family-related expenses rise, frequently both parents find themselves working and children are left with a nannie, day care, or other caregiver (grandparent, aunt and uncle, etc.).  For younger children, vacation Bible school is always a good bet for a quality summer activity.  The new programs that have been developed are exciting for kids and they provide good spiritual instruction for young people.  Summer church camps are also an opportunity for children to have a healthy Christian experience as well as a chance to develop their interpersonal communication and socialization skills.  Family camps and even grandparent camps are becoming more and more popular.  This is a chance to take a vacation with your children or grandchildren and become involved in some meaningful and constructive activities.  Several of the children's book companies like Scholastic, Inc., offer summer skill packages for a few dollars.  In them are educational activities to help your child have fun but also to help maintain their educational skill level over the summer.  You may want to set aside a quiet evening time to read with your child or work on some of these skill lessons together.  It reassures them that you have time just for them in your life too.

 

Answer:  This is a very complex question, but I'll try to make the answer as simple as I can.  Our little world, is a tiny particle in a vast universe.  We only see a minute part of the big picture as to why things happen the way they do.  Being faithful to God assures us of our place in Paradise.  However, it doesn't guarantee that we will never have any trouble in our lives.  Remember, Satan is alive and well and working all over the world.  Also keep in mind that everything happens for a reason although it may be a long time (if ever) before we know why something happens.  We need to accept challenges as part of everyday life.  Some of these challenges are VERY DIFFICULT.  But if we keep Jesus Christ in our hearts and minds He will see us through these challenges, no matter what they are.  Also remember the old saying that you can't appreciate the glorious view from the top of the mountain if you haven't experienced the deepest valley.

 

Answer:  The most important thing in your life is BALANCE.  My grandfather used to say, "everything in moderation".  Do a self-assessment.  What things are most important in your life?  I hope God is at the top of that list.  Family should also be there.  Your job should be no higher than third on that list.  While this may be easier said than done at times, you need to plan time for yourself.  Be sure to set aside some quiet time every day for some quiet reading, meditation or just relaxing listening to some soft music.  It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to relax amid a noisy environment.  If you have a family, make it a quiet time for the whole family.  Kids too.  They can work on homework or read a book.  No video games or computers allowed (be firm on this one)!  If the kids' friends are there, they need to participate, too.  Do a Bible study together.  It will be difficult at first, but eventually it will become a regular part of your routine.  Another great tool is self-relaxation breathing.  Breathe in slowly through your nose filling your lungs with air, then exhale slowly through your lips pursing them enough to give slight resistence to the air passing through them.  Do this several times several times a day, especially when you are feeling tense.  Your physical, mental and spiritual health are the most important things you have in life.  Remember, your body is God's Temple.  TAKE CARE OF IT!